Life seems brighter, more vivid, as if technicolor! And the amazing thing is, it actually IS. When your man is in love with you, he feels pure energetic expansion, a deep and profound sense of aliveness. That’s a LOTTA his day dedicated to you! #2: WHEN HE’S IN LOVE… he experiences a surge of energy. In fact, a lot of men report that a whopping 80% of their day is consumed by thoughts of the woman he loves. His mind just automatically turns to you, even when he’s at work or attempting to focus on something else. When a man’s fallen in love you, you dominate his thinking. In her book Why We Love, Helen Fisher explores the seven experiences that men have when they’re truly in love, and I want to share them with you here so you can get a better sense of what he actually goes through when he falls super hard for you! #1: WHEN HE’S IN LOVE… his thoughts are magnetized to you. Sold.In this way, love actually operates like a drug. I see potential in this one.” You take me and I take you. “I’ll take the one with the beautiful dents that likes to cry at commercials. Someone is seeing all of you and accepting it as is. Here’s the thing: There’s nothing more rewarding in this world than knowing that you’re being understood. You can just use your “I’M IN LOVE #sorrynotsorry” card whenever you see yourself go over the deep end. It’s refreshing to not be so self-conscious about your behavior 24/7. Ew, see what you’re making me do here? Yeah, love makes you behave like a complete sap and not give a F about it. I’m in love with you because you’re the peanut butter to my jelly. You’re fine with being unhappy about the action movie, so long as they’re happy and you know you’ll be rewarded with an extra long orgasm later so it’s fine. The idea should be that you love them more than any surface decision. I’m beginning to realize that a big part of love is just relinquishing control and giving up your right to be a total brat. What these tiffs illustrate is the art of compromise. You need to have disagreements in order to know that your love is strong, that it can survive trivial resentments, the debate between whether or not to get hydrangeas or lilies, chicken or steak, an action movie or a romcom. Relationships shouldn’t be a series of highs and lows but they shouldn’t be completely even either. I’m in love with you because we aren’t afraid to fight. They’re incomparable and exist in completely different realms. Shouldn’t we all be falling in love with our best friend? By saying this, we’re not diminishing the value of our platonic friendships. When people hesitate to call their partner their best friend, I’m incredulous as to why. I’m in love with you because you’re my best friend. It’s stable, unlike obsession, which is inherently erratic. I’m in love with you because you’re my equal. They were all the way up there and I was down here, studying them like a dutiful pupil, and that dynamic felt comfortable to me. If I felt things intensely and regarded my lover as a mentor, it would mean that I was in head over heels. In the past, I would confuse obsession with love. This is a distinction worth noting, one that took me a long time to learn. I’m in love with you because I’m not obsessed with you. “Honey, I’m home….and no longer terrified.” All day long, I can feel fragile, like a raw nerve, and when I come home to you, it’s like I just put on the thickest winter coat and installed bulletproof windows in my apartment. All I know is that when I’m with you, I feel like I’m clutching a giant thing of pepper spray or reliving a moment of being carried to bed by my parents when I was five years old and fell asleep in front of the television. People always talk about feeling safe with someone and you wonder what it even means. I’m in love with you because you make me feel safe. You’re the one who makes me want to be more empathetic and stronger. You’re the nice one in this relationship. How does one even get kind eyes? How do I convey warmth and vulnerability all in one glance? I guess I’ll just leave to that you. You have eyes that make everyone else’s look dark and scary, including mine. If you were to be put in a line-up of people and someone asked me, “Who would you love the most?”, I would pick you. I’m in love with you because you’re lovable.
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